Friday, September 22, 2006

She wasn’t someone we knew
All pancake make up and blue eyeliner
Drag queen stylin with dyke attitude
And she stood over us,
Looming oversized with man hands
Sliding beside me, one arm around me
Owning me before she knew me
Taking before I gave permission, as though
Permission were superfluous
And it was

To me a shy hello
To my girlfriend – all cocky brash
‘your name wasn’t on her’
To the ring I wore –
All gold and diamonds
A short nod and it disappeared
As though it was only that,
A ring
And not the promise before god and so much more
As though it wasn’t to his house we disappeared
When her truck rolled, stopping in front of rain soaked
Lawns,
And his couch on which she held me
Watching trees tapdance on window sills

She wasn’t someone we knew
All strange angles,
Angry glares
The confines of our world too soft to bind her,
Lesbian clichés, all wrapped in tommy Hilfiger,
The looks and smells
Dolphin teal and burnt orange colors . . . she sparkled for me
Silent still
Wasn’t someone we knew, tears in eyes of ice
And holding me I felt her break
She held me, thought it was forever

And somewhere she found she needed my permission
But I was already
So far
Insanely past the point
Of gone
He hands me bottles
And swings paper plates over me
Into trash cans where they linger,
The rot filling our home
too few cares
and too many carcasses

overwhelm me with the stench, stale
like cigarette smoke and long kisses
with strangers beneath umbrellas, taste of lip
gloss and the shiny strand of spit
catching
your lips
to mine

his hands encase my body, move me from this
platform to another
and the train is cutting five a.m. skies into kaleidoscope of pieces
her heart is piece mail
crushed
and I pull it from the tracks, jigsaw on the ground
and press square pegs into round holes

force them together
as spring rain tumbles onto bubble filled imperfection
the glass of our adobe,
and he hands me the last bottle
and jingles the empty can
no more money
for beer

he whispers
an obscenity
and puts the cigarette out
In search of loose change

Thursday, September 14, 2006

He
Is in shadow
As i
Reach for the clothes
I lost
Somewhere in our night
He is
Illuminated
Gorgeous in shadow, cut against
The dark light
Of 5 a.m.
I
Wonder
As we exchange confidences,
Promise later
And other things over which we
Exercise no control
If god grants
And we should meet again
Will
I ever look
Just so to him?

My love, my angel
Turns rage into grenades
Cast against the enemy,
This land we so adore
And god shall raise us up,
And god shall give us glory
For we have chosen to stand
On the right side
Of the Lord

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Formless, nameless
We are sinking
Into the space below and out of time
You walk to me
And dreaming, I answer you
So quiet,
My name upon your tongue
And you are the one to whom all things are whole
Within the space of which all things come,
To heal
And be healed
Where love relinquished may be found
And found items, people
Released
For never will they wander far
From peace, such calming mirrored
Silvered peace
As this . . .

Monday, September 11, 2006

Her heart
Beats
So fast these days
And she wonders how he does not hear it
Pounding against the silence of their night
As they sleep, cocooned against one another, the slip slide quickness of her leather, the couch she bought, as though love could be purchased with exteriors, the extrapolation, his trust for a song
And she is fragile
Her arms sidewinding and wrapping him in her
Until there is only him
And only her
The rain against glass, great fat tears salty and unreal,
And he asks again “I’m not smashing you?”
She only laughs, kisses him
So grateful for his arms
Pressed tight against the comfort of this unexpected gift,
Their inevitable love

Friday, September 08, 2006

I find the fire
Step within
Steel in the forge
And find my core
Sealed
By grace
You burn me
So hot against the flames
And find me
Where lost I might have
Been
Seeking
Forever in your light
I shall emerge
For you
In light, in time
The length, the weight
You wield me
And I am
Now forever
Yours

Sealed in
The flames of my
Salvation

Thursday, September 07, 2006

You know
I promised you
And lied
My lips formed words,
Vows
I never meant to keep
And you were just
The slowly spinning
Agony inspiring
Rip in time and space
We crucified, who died
As moments passed
And peoples faces carved their places
In the world
But words and worlds are not all that different
And you were ever only this
A single glimpse
A second past the time
Deliberation
Release
I lied
But not from malicious intent
Or any sort of mass manipulation,
Our schemes impure,
Hearts undying
No
When I promised,
When I lied
I
Did it only ever out
Of love

And that only ever
Made it worse
When truth’s
Inevitable time
Came

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

I find you
Odd small spaces in my head
Delineated by the smell of you
As though these moments can be broken down
Time stamped and released
Into a world better for having
Known
You
Find me
Small crevices of warmth in man made cubby holes
The innards of skyline architecture
And dancing sunlight
On a building
As it cuts the sky
And releases
Me
Against the piercing blue
Where I find
You
Floating among the clouds and
Lost to kite time winds
Where you may always find
me
He
Emancipates
Me
Releases
Me
From that thing
That I was . . .
And grateful I retreat
Lose silence,
Lose hate
As He
Grants grace to
Me
Nothing more
Than that
Nothing more to say
Simply the
He
That has always
Known
Has always
Been
And
We
Are
The human proclamation of
His love
He
. . . .
In joy
I adore Him
And missing you
Becomes full time
Clockwork like the beating
Tick tock rhyming
We are learning one another
You in
These arms
Laughing
And we are dancing
Silently absconding with this heart
That moves so slow . . . and missing you
Is just the natural extension of the
Time we haven’t spent
This life was missing
‘til I found
Someone exactly
Made for me
The way god made you here and now,
Just right and fitted now to me
You are the one
Starlight wish
That did come true

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Black and white
This photograph
Touch me
And we
Move
Slow dance
And midnight moonlight
River’s snaking over land,
Through states and over lines
Non existent parallelograms
You speak words that don’t exist
Talk to me of stratospheres
The immeasurable cold space
Between stars
And planets
Negative measurements
And you hold me
Until I would never let you
Let me go
And we are just
A dream
Someone else might have
The perfect way to be
Black and white
This photograph
I touch
With broken heart,
And tip toe fingertips . . . .
I pontificate
Affairs of state
They legislate
Pretend a fate
And masturbate
The thoughts that predicate a real confluence
Of blah blah blah
But we are wanting so much more than this from
Those we sent to serve
In towers painted ivory
And they are simply sitting there
Deliberate
And determinate
Their point to matriculate
to lower masses,
Theirs to dominate
My heart and soul to supplicate
Upon this ground
And again
As we scream
“No more”
And they return
“4 more years”

As watershed walls crumble beneath reforms
That never should be raised
False hopes and laws that never could or should
Fulfill anything
Because there was never anything there to fulfill
To begin with . . .
They were all just empty chalices
Lining the streets
Paved in gold plated tin, sold at souvenir shops as ill
Fated planes ride ill fated politicians through air currents
Over buildings that will not stand the test of any time

Pontificate and supplicate,
The masses here to dominate
But to what end?
If mastication is the goal, then simply walk away
For on their own they do more harm
Then ever you might do
To them . . .